Lauren & Goat Cheese

Theresia went to pick Lauren up yesterday and take her for her haircut appt. Her hair was soooo long. I was shocked and thrilled when I saw her. It was all cut off into a kind of spiky/shaggy bob. Very cool and upbeat looking! I wish that I had taken a before & after picture. The only issue that I can think of is that it's one of those cuts you have to maintain every 4-5 weeks to keep looking good. She was adorable! The girls made spaghetti & salad for dinner (which I ate) and I went to Paul's Fruit Market and bought a perfect loaf of Blue Dog bakery multi seeded Italian bread (which I broke into on the way home) & Capriole goat cheese (http://www.capriolegoatcheese.com/) which is to die for and local in Indiana . To hell with low carb and my limited budget! Then we watched "I Love You Man" which I thought was funny, awkward & sweet at the end. Kendall loved goat cheese but Lauren wouldn't touch the stuff.

Life Celebration Party

Saturday morning Rachael & I went out for breakfast and then came home, threw open all the windows in the house and did some housekeeping. We had originally planned to go to the gun range but Mike had been called in to work the night before and we didn't want to drag him out of bed. It was so incredibly gorgeous that I kept making excuses for us to hop in the car and run here and there on silly errands. We took Lucky to get groomed - he's feeling pretty frisky now. I tried to mow the lawn but the lawn mower needs work. Later we went to my mother's house for a bit to hang out and Kristina came to pick up Rachael to go to a barbecue and spend the night with her cousins.

That night I went to my co-worker Beth's house for a party to celebrate her father's life (he passed from cancer last week). Families with children were leaving when I arrived at 8:30. Beth's adorable 4 year old son, Zeke, was spending the night elsewhere. Mickey made me feel right at home and I met Beth's sister, Holly, who was just as cute as a button. Beth had her hair cut in the kitchen to look nice for the memorial service. Most of the night was spent outside in a circle of chairs surrounding a big fire pit, drinking, laughing, dancing and telling stories. You couldn't have asked for a more perfect night - so beautiful!! At one point we ended up wearing her father's hats. Needless to say I spent the night in little Zeke's bedroom. Every time I rolled or made a noise, the freaking dogs came charging in barking, growling and then they'd sniff and lick my feet and face - Jeez! Courage is a massive white lab that actually is afraid of a lot of things, Louis is a black lab and Harvey is a small jack Russell - all so sweet!

I woke up the next morning, dragged myself home, took 2 ibuprofen and slept for 2 more hours - just happy to be back in my own bed, in my own house. I really missed every one of my pillows! I could kiss them all. Went to pick up Rach, came home & let her ride through the neighborhood for the rest of the afternoon on her bike with Lucky attached by his leash on the bike handle. She rode for hours!!! Meanwhile, I aired the shed out and started cleaning out the junk! Two carloads to Good Will. Half the crap came from GW! Then there's all the stuff that I can't bring myself to get rid of that really need to go! If I ask Lauren to help she'll empty out my entire shed without batting an eye! NOOOO WAY!

Olivia Shadows & School's Open House

My niece Olivia came to work with me today to shadow as part of her effort to earn her gold award for Girl Scouts. The first part of my day was spent doing interviews and responding to resumes which is normal. Halfway through the morning however, our receptionist, Beth, had to leave to be with her father (he is dying from cancer and related illnesses). So I covered the front desk for the rest of the day. And honestly, I worked up a sweat up front and glad for it too. The lobby was packed in the afternoon and it was payday on top of that. Yeeehaaa!!! My adrenalin was pumping! :o) Olivia ended up really pitching in and being a huge help. Thanks Libby!

After I dropped Libby off at her house, I ran home to grab Rach for Carrither's Open House. The classrooms seemed rather small, but the teachers and staff were really, super nice! I loved meeting everyone and now I'm excited about middle school too! I expect they'll be seeing a lot of me. The only problem is that Rachael discovered that she doesn't really care much for the elective that she chose. I tried to get them to change it to archery, but it's a no go:o( *poop* It's the most popular class in there. We asked to be put on a list for the next 12 weeks, but there is no list. But I'm not worried, I have a good feeling that she'll be in it - just because :o)

I've gained 4 lbs (262 to 266) back after enjoying myself too much this past week or so. Lots of pasta and even a couple of sweets (who can turn down Lauren's homemade desserts). Too much fun in the kitchen at Michael & Lizzy's summer picnic. I 'm not going to beat myself up over it, all I can do is take control again. Well, I'm already back on track and have lost 2 of the 4lbs in the past 2 days. I realize that because I fell off the wagon, it's put me behind on my weight loss schedule...that really sucks, but hey! I'm back in the saddle again and that's what matters!

Tomorrow Rachael & I go to yoga. I've also been invited to join a pilates class by one of my Y buddies and my niece Alex thinks I can possibly do the muscle reconditioning class on Thursday's. I think she's crazy, but it wouldn't hurt to check it out. I already feel as though I'm not doing enough. I just think that my head is ahead (hee hee!) of my body. I have to get in shape now because by next spring, I'll have so little time to do anything but go to school and study - on top of working a full time and part time job!!!! I can't decide between being terrified and thrilled! And my biggest concern is neglecting Rachael.
This is what I'd like to be able to do in yoga - effortlessly...One Day Soon!

Intuition

Rachael is very intuitive for an 11 year old. I noticed yesterday while we were driving to Indy for my brother Michael's "Tsueda summer picnic" that if I happened to be listening to a song that had words I really connected with, she would reach out to touch me. Then I'd reach back and we would hold hands for a few moments, not speaking. She was sitting behind me so I know she couldn't see my expression, but maybe it was my body language. Who knows? It happened twice - once with Miley Cyrus's "The Climb" and again with David Cook's "The Time of My Life". Both have such a wealth of meaning now. It sounds crazy but I feel almost (not quite, but almost) grateful for the rather painful events of this summer - especially these last few days I feel unfettered, unfrozen and filled with hope, determination and excitement. This is the way it was meant to be.

Knob Creek Gun Range

I've started hanging out more with my middle daughter, Lauren, Tim (her husband) and Mike (her father-in-law). They are so cool! Mike and Tim are both very knowledgeable about gun's & weapons (including repairs, maintenance, history etc.) and are lifetime members of Knob Creek Gun Range. They even make bullets for their own use! Every other Saturday morning Rachael & I meet them and head over to Knob Creek to practice our marksmanship. Sometimes on a little 22 handgun, sometimes the rifle or the 9mm. But since the 22's are less expensive to shoot, I use those the most. I didn't get to take her last weekend b/c her dad & I switched and she was actually really disappointed!
It's a lot harder than it looks but there's definitely a strong sense of satisfaction in watching oneself improve over time. Last weekend when I felt myself get tired and unfocused after a few hours, I actually tried to practice some of my yoga - breathing & centering - while taking aim & shooting. It honestly helped! I'm serious! (Even though we've only been taking Yoga classes for about 6 -7 weeks.)
Sometimes guys show up packing huge cases and pull out some serious sh-t that I call Terminator Weaponry. Kinda Sci-Fi scary! But other than that it's all such a blast! When the horn blows to put our guns down and reposition our targets, we'll go inside and hang out for a bit, checking out the store, chatting with everyone and maybe grabbing a bite in the back at the snack bar. Usually when I look at my cell for the first time, at least 4 hours will have passed, if not longer! I really, really would love to become a member as soon as I can.
I want to learn more too. I want to know how to take the guns I use apart, clean them and put them back together - properly.... and not blow something off. Hopefully, I'll get to do some of that in next week's visit. We're very lucky. Mike is extremely knowledgeable and a wonderful teacher, not matter if you're 11 or ... ahem, much older. Of course that's part of what he does for a living. Both Rachael and I were very comfortable and confidant by the end of our first day out there. But even more importantly, we get to spend time together and strengthen the bonds of our family. Keeping connected.

powwow's and totems

I've been invited to join some friends attending a Native American Powwow sometime in September. I don't have the details until Monday but I hope it falls on a weekend when Rachael is at home. She would love it! We'll be camping out as well. Would it be OK if I just pack peanut butter, melba rounds, trail mix and dried fruit? I really don't care about cooking. Maybe I can pick up marshmallows, chocolate and graham crackers too. Toasting marshmallows on a stick is OK. I've got all my gear in the shed so it'll be a good reason to get in there, discard a bunch of junk and organize the rest. It's just that...well, there are spiders in there! My biggest fear is getting bitten by a brown recluse. *chills*
We took a couple of different tests that we came across to find out what our totem is. My co-worker, Beth (ever insightful), said to also think about an animal that we felt very connected with in some way. Everyone who knows Rachael knows she is turtle girl - sea turtles in particular. She has turtle jewelery, figurines, pictures and a life size sea turtle hanging in the livingroom. Mine is the Otter. I used to have a couple of otter figurines, a stuffed otter (in NYC) and almost bought myself a pendant necklace once that had an otter floating on it's back holding a pearl between it's paws.. I wanted it so much, but I was supposed to be Christmas shopping for other people, not myself - so I didn't. It's interesting that they are both our totems are animals that go between land and water.
We did it just in curiosity & fun, but also with respect for other people's beliefs and the mystery of it all. I wish that I knew more.. I wonder if Rachael will grow in to her totem or will it grow in her? Wondering about mine as well. When Rachael gets a little older, I would love to take her to volunteer on a conservation project that involves sea turtles and hatchlings. Wouldn't that be awesome!

First Day of School

Yesterday was Rachael's first day at Carrither's Middle School. Of course she had to wear a uniform, which she moaned & groaned about, but Hey! I thought she looked cute in her skirt and knee highs. What's great is that I can drop her off myself as early as 7am and then someone will get her after school. Her dad, sister, aunt etc. She can even walk (if I get over my paranoia) No CEP! That helps with the budget :o) Last night I picked her up from dad's and she chattered all the way home about how much fun she had. What's really cool is that she has electives that she can choose for 6th period like yoga, french culture, etc.
Since we just started taking yoga classes together about 6 or more weeks ago, I personally thought that yoga would be a great choice. That way we would learn more, practice more and she could teach ME a few things. Not! She said that she loves going to yoga class with me because we get to do it together. Schools a different story and she has a couple of electives that sound more interesting to her. That's OK though - because isn't that what it's all about anyway? Choices? She's also taking cello again this year for orchestra. I love the cello! It's song just makes my heart ache every time.
Tonight she's at dad's again. The house is empty except for Lucky Dog. He's my 5 year old Llasa Apso who also looks like a woolly sheep when his fur grows out. He's WAY over due for a shearing. I have a love/"not so much" relationship with Lucky. I love him pretty much all of the time, but he will get on my couch and pee/poop when he is upset about something or feels neglected. They say that Llasa's can be like that. Actually he's been really good all summer (that I know about anyway). Maybe he's getting better. He's an awesome watchdog! I feel better when he sleeps with Rachael.