What Now?

My daughter's father has been unemployed for over 2 years. He just drifted along, not really looking for work and living off his girlfriend and unemployment. Well, she moved out and unemployment ended so NOW he's looking for a job. Without warning, he didn't make a payment for February and now it's the same thing in March. I'm using my tax refund to cover but what happens in April? or May? It stinks and I worry...some. The reality is, I can lose my home, my credit will be shot but it's all material. Really? Is that the worst thing that can happen to anyone? NO! I told my children, I couldn't care less anymore about "stuff". As long as I have a roof over our heads (even if it isn't mine) and can provide for them...I'm ok. SO lets see what happens. I already work 2 jobs and have asked to pick up extra shifts. I'm going to start taking stuff to consignment shops, have a yard sale, sell my plasma (OK, cancel the last one - I hate needles), etc. I will do everything I can to hold on but I won't be afraid of this ride - I just won't.

p/t job

Life goes on after entering a nursing home. There's still romance, heartbreak, drama and even frienemies!
One feisty 75 year-old resident is having man trouble with her 64 year-old boyfriend (he visits his mother who is also a resident). She sat up front with me for over 3 hours bashing him while I commiserated. He's a slob, he's out-of shape, he's too domineering, he talks too much, etc. etc.etc. She likes a well-dressed man with good manners & a cute tush . Her words, not mine!! However, when he showed up to visit his mom that afternoon, it was all coochie-coo & sweetie-pie. Imagine that!
Then, one dear lady who is having a disagreement with another resident came up to me to ask if I knew whether pineapples grew on trees or on the ground. I said neither, they grow on these thick stalks above the ground....I think. Next thing you know they're both in front of me wanting to know who's Closer to being right. I was very diplomatic and watched them walk back to the dining room holding hands, still snipping at each other the whole way.
There's a sweet, sweet man that comes up to the front desk twice a day and sits on the bench by me either napping or telling stories. Now, he is deaf so sometimes it sounds like he's yelling because he always raises his voice so that I can hear him better. :) I love the one when he's in 8th grade and meets the most beautiful girl in the world. He was so shy and she was like a "pretty rose". He goes on and on...reminiscing - I thought for sure he had married his middle-school sweetheart. So I ask him "Did you marry her?" "No" he said. "She's the one that got away." He cracks me up!
There are the rare times where I just don't feel like going to work because it's the weekend and I'd rather be outside or doing something fun or productive but...I do love my little friends there who make time to come up and visit with me, chitchat & gossip about the going-on's. I wouldn't give it up for anything!

New Grand-Daughter Madeline

We're all in love with little Madeline Theresia. She looks so much like George to me, those eyebrows, that hairline...no telling what else will develop. Theresia's happy that Maddie has her earlobes. Kendall now has the baby sister that she always wanted! :) At first it was so hard with them moving away, really hard. At yet just a few short months later and I'm OK with it all. Of course, I did just spend 5 days up there with them and I intend to go back the weekend after this so I still see them all. Kendall started school and absolutely LOVES it! Yay!

LIFE CONTINUES

It's been a couple of months since Theresia and Kendall have moved out. I guess I feel OK after the initial shock of separation. I've taken my old bedroom back which is kind of nice. I've been going to the gym with Olivia more and more, but I haven't really pushed myself. Just walking on the treadmill, getting myself slowly back into the swing of things.
On the 1st of August, I plan to start going to the Y at 5am and start adding the weights in again. I have to get on and keep that schedule because when I do go back to school, I think my classes will be Mon-Thurs 5:30-9:30pm. I'm just really concerned on how everything will effect Rachael. I've always been here for her and she is my priority. I'd be gone for 4 days out of 7!
Decisions, decisions...maybe I can actually try those online classes. I just don't know how disciplined and organized I am. I pray that I do well. I don't want to just get a degree - I want to graduate with honors. Three goals - 1. get a degree. 2. get physically fit. 3. pay off my credit cards & loans. How much can I get accomplished in the next 3 years?
I have annual training at my part time job. This time I think I'll bring Lucky with me to hang out in the testing room. Dogs are allowed in the facility and it's not so far away that he'll get too car sick. I just hate leaving him at home alone for longer than I need too and training takes hours on the computer.

Poor Baby!

It's confirmed. Kendall has strep throat. Poor baby was so quiet, limp and miserable until that 1st dose of childrne's ibuprofen kicked in. It's amazing... 40 minutes later, she was outside while I finished mowing the back yard - picking flowers, inspecting bugs and kicking her legs on the swing. But meanwhile (before the meds made her feel better), I promised her that when she moved out (I get all Verklempt when I think about it!), I would paint the little bedroom all pink and it would be her room (and baby sister Madeline's, of course) where they could stay whenever they came to visit. That earned me a weak smile. I would have promised her the world for less!
Theresia did some grocery shopping and cooked the evening meal. Then I took Kendall to the video store to pick out a movie. Don't worry! She didn't touch anything. George came over for dinner and they all watched the latest Star Trek movie (b/c George hasn't seen it yet). Theresia thinks George looks like Spock. It's true! I pretty much high-tailed it to bed at 8:30, but now it's just after 1am and I'm wide awake. I let Lucky out and the wind (which normally thrills me) made me a little nervous for some strange reason.
It's my weekend to work - which pretty much sucks. I'm grateful to have the job, but today I just don't feel it. I want to do other things. I have things that need to get done. I want to visit with Michael and Lizzy while they're in town and celebrate Mother's day with my family
Papa Potts is in town with his wife Tammy - so pretty soon, my bathroom will get done. Yay!

On The Same Level...

After the race Saturday morning, I kidnapped my niece and we went to grab a bite to eat. Raw veggies were served with the worst artichoke dip that I've EVER had. Among the veggies was a stack of limp, sliced cucumbers. We each grabbed one, popped it into our mouths and chewed - all just smiling & staring at each other. Out of the blue Vanessa reaches over and pokes the gelatinous center of another cucumber slice and says "I'd like to live in the center of a cucumber." Hmmm... That's food for thought. "What do you mean?" I said. "Like a seed?" *Because THIS is important* There are a lot of seeds in a cucumber, it's pretty crowded in there. "Yeah" she said. "But I want to be the only seed." AHA!! You know me, I find this strangely fascinating! Then Rachael pipes up "I'd rather live inside of a tomato!" and of course the discussion builds from there.
Now being the mature adult that I am - I absolutely have to contribute to the conversation, so I say "Well, I'd like to be the only seed inside of something sweet & juicy. Like a watermelon!" Which was perfectly acceptable...until I elaborated. "The problem is that I love watermelon so much I'd be like a cannibal & end up eating my mother. I'd just keep eating and eating and eating until one day someone tries to cut open the watermelon and instead of red, sweet juiciness, there would be this massive shiny black seed right beneath the rind!"......You know sometimes I forget how weird I am! :)
At this point I'd like to say that the girl's stared at me with their mouths open in mild shock for a few moments, but that didn't happen. They just laughed and kept picking at what was left of meal and I thought ...... it's great to be a kid!

The Terminator

For my birthday I wanted my daughter, Lauren. to help me get rid of stuff and get organized. I'm a bona fide pack-rat. Nowhere near hoarder level, but I was working my way up there. It's hard to throw anything away because I know that I'll have some use for it someday. It's not what you see in my house, it's mostly what you don't see - in drawers, closets, cabinets, shelves. Even when I try to clean out my junk drawers - I end up putting 97% of it back. That's what I needed Lauren for - she has no such compunction. "Have you used this in the past year?" "No, but I might need it." GONE!! I came home Friday to find furniture moved and her car was loaded and locked (so I couldn't get in it). Tim (my son-in-law) came over he got off work and organized my shed, helped in the house, fixed closet doors, etc. I had to beg to get my Louisville Stonewear chip-n- dip platter back. I try not to think about whatever else was in that car....
On Saturday, more of the same. Timmy pulled my fridge out so that I could get back there (I never could get it to budge!) and clean (it was horrible!) but then, either he took pity on me or I was too moving too slow, he said "I can do that." and scrubbed it himself. Then he worked on my computer - cleaned it up, added protection & plugged it in behind the fridge so that we don't have to step over the cord a hundred times a day.
Then Lauren mentioned getting rid of my two $5 Henredon chairs that I found at the Ruckriegel Senior Citizen's Center yard sale. I LOVE those chairs! They are so comfortable for reading and relaxing. OK, it's true - they're really ugly to look at, BUT they are in great structural shape, even the cushions are like new in loft and spring - it's just the fabric! I had to negotiate a 2 month reprieve. On May 20th, if my chairs are not slip-covered, I'll come home and my chairs will be gone. See what I mean?
Thank God she gave me a chance to sort the cookbooks that were in my kitchen - I thought that was very nice of her. On my own, I went to the bookshelves in the living room to clean out the books that we'll never read again. Some I'll take to Half Price Book Store, the rest to GW. I cleaned out my linen closet so that the 2 shelves of half used paint are sitting in the driveway, opened and drying out ( I kept those - also just in case), my painting tools, supplies & accessories are out in the shed. Got rid of some linens that I didn't need and now, well, it looks nicer. So much space in there...
Saturday night, after working our butts off, we went to celebrate our birthday's at Oma's (Senior). Rochelle had cooked a nice dinner and made a pistachio cake, Olivia made an almond fruit tart and there was the traditional birthday cake. I dozed off when I got there, ate dinner, talked, laughed, dozed off some more - sang happy birthday, blew out candles, ate cake...this time fell sound asleep, mouth hanging open & all - woke up and talked laughed some more. Now this is "Normal" for me. I sleep best at my mother's surrounded by animated conversation & the clinking of coffee cups and forks on plates. Don't ask me why.
Today is Sunday. Lauren & Timmy are staying home today to relax and take care of their own house. I'm glad - for them. I was given homework to clean out my pantry (which is in the laundry room & also holds my desk and computer). OK, I do have a shelf of things like a box of glass mosaic tile, a brand new industrial stapler still in it's box, cans of spray paint, camping lantern, contact paper, etc. Lots of small appliances, pots and pans, kitchen towels but less than half a shelf of actual food items. So I'm going to sort these items out and move them to the shed as well.
Thank you Timmy and Lauren - for everything! I can breathe easier. I needed a strong push in the right direction and I knew that you would be the right people to ask for help. I'll even throw away the box of magazines that I hid from you in my bedroom closet last night. Because the bottom line is ...What's the point of asking for help and not following through?